Dying by the dream
by zellojello
Summary: Harvest Moon: Wonderful Life SE. Jack Cahill arrives and meets success in the forms of farming, marriage, and children. But what about those left over? What is Celia expected to do with herself now? The story’s short and sad. -COMPLETE-


_This fic is based off Harvest Moon: Wonderful Life Special Edition. I felt a brief warning was necessary given that the game is bright and cheery and this fic is most decidedly neither of those. I'm surprised myself at how dark this turned out given the nature of the game from which it was derived. But in all honesty, the girls in the game exist as "marriage material" for the main character. Once he chooses one of the four in which to marry, the rest continue their lives exactly as they've always lived them – nothing to be lost, nothing to be gained. They do little more than "exist" -- mere background music in the main character's happy, happy life. This fic is from Celia's perspective, on just how happy that existence is._

_It goes without saying that I do not own Harvest Moon or any parts thereof. _

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She was in love with Jack. She had been since the day he stepped foot into Forget Me Not Valley. It didn't matter that he'd been sacked with a run-down farm. It didn't matter that he hardly had two pennies to rub together. It didn't even matter that he was a complete mystery – a stranger in a town where everyone was raised together.

And now it didn't even matter that he was married. Celia would love Jack. She would love him forever.

She hated it.

The town had welcomed Jack Cahill with open arms. They were hoping that he could finally fix up the old farm that had been the big, ugly, blotch and eyesore for fifteen long years on what would otherwise have been their perfect picturesque village. Jack certainly seemed to have fit the bill. He was young, strong, and smart, albeit ignorant about the ways of farming. Nonetheless, he had been quick to learn, and in a few short months had pumped healthy energy into the place that hadn't been felt in decades. For all his hard work, the farm was still quaint and underwhelming (at least compared to the larger corporate farms just outside the city), but it showed promise, and promise was good.

Jack showed promise too.

Nothing in Forget Me Not Valley had changed for years. Rarely did people come or go, and when they did, it followed the natural progression of life. People are born. People die. When Jack arrived in the valley the whole atmosphere had changed. Celia loved the valley for precisely what it was – sleepy, sweet, completely unassuming. Jack's mere presence had charged the place without him knowing it. People were talking: Who was this man? Where had he come from? Why is he here? What does he want to do with Forget Me Not Valley? Is he here for the farm, or is there another reason?

He was a walking question mark. He was friendly enough to the villagers, but was never inclined to speak about his past. The few places where conversation ran fluidly – Griffin's Bar and Ruby's Hotel – were rarely graced with Jack's presence. Initially he preferred to keep to himself, associating only with Takamura (whose social graces were about as well-developed as a rock's), and spent his time doing back-breaking chores that started in the early hours of the morning and took him through late evening. Celia, like the rest of the townsfolk, was driven by more than a mild sense of curiosity about the man but, like the town, she was content to sit and wait and watch.

She was luckier than most. Jack crossed her path more than he did most anyone else, at least at first. He was new to farming and came by her employer, Vespa's, farm almost every day for seeds or fertilizer. Despite not having the experience, he had a clever head, and was quickly able to learn which crops yielded a larger return, as well as when, and what, he should invest his money into. It was sooner than Celia had hoped before he stopped coming around altogether. Jack's little farm may have been ruin and neglected for years, but he was quickly turning it around. It was small, but it would soon rival, and soon thereafter triumph completely, over Vespa's. Jack's success in light of his lack of experience, only served to fuel the villager's curiosity.

Celia's feelings for Jack had been more than simple curiosity from the get-go. Jack may have been a stranger – one whose mystery only grew over time – but Celia had known from the first time his warm chocolate eyes met hers that he would be the love of her life. Unlike the rest of the villagers, Celia hadn't been born in Forget Me Not Valley. She had moved here several years ago, but had acclimated to it so readily, in both her personality and behavior, that she fell into place, both in her heart and in the minds of the villagers, as though she'd always belonged. Cradled in the beauty, wholesomeness, and serenity of Forget Me Not Valley, Celia never felt that something was missing. She only discovered years later that the missing piece had been Jack.

Jack's arrival sparked not only the first bit of interesting news that the townsfolk had to talk about in years, it also struck a place deep within Celia that she never even knew existed. Yet as soon as he stepped foot into the place and his eyes locked on hers, she felt it deep in her chest. The feeling was so organic, so intrinsic within her that she didn't question or resist. She loved him. Each time she saw him she loved him more and more. She felt certain – absolutely certain – that their relationship would develop naturally over time. One night he would come in and ask her to look at the stars with him. She would say yes. They would talk – truly talk – and he would realize that there was something within her that resonated in harmony with something in him, and they would meet again and again and again. Eventually he would ask her to be his wife. She would say yes with tears in her eyes. They would marry. She'd live with him on his farm. They'd have two children. A boy and a girl, and they'd be deep in love forever and for always until the day came when they would sit together again, their silver heads tilted towards each other's, gazing up at the stars.

Celia knew it in her heart to be true. Jack had been sent there for her. Her feelings for him came from a place that felt too natural to be wrong. She had never doubted them or their future together for a minute.

That was, until she heard the news. Jack had proposed to Lumina.

Lumina had said yes.

Suddenly everything seemed to crumble at her feet. How could she have been wrong? How could you be wrong about something you _know_ to be right? It's as though you were to wake up one morning and realize that everything you had known in your life – the blue sky being blue, the green grass being green, the air you breathe being good – were suddenly just the opposite. Your life as you knew it was a lie. Nothing was certain. Nothing was true. Everything could be taken away from you in an instant.

It couldn't be. Jack and Lumina. Please. It couldn't be.

But it was. And each day after she'd heard the news hurt worse than the day before it. Celia didn't understand how her mind could endure so much pain while her body went on unbroken. She had to remind herself to breathe. Breathe, breathe. Walk. Smile. Eat. Talk. Breathe. Pretend as though it's okay. Pretend, like the rest, as though you're happy. Smile. Breathe. If you stop for just one moment, you'll shatter and everyone will see it.

It was almost unbearable, yet Celia swallowed her emotions like poison. Smile. Breathe. She had no one to blame but herself, she realized. She had been completely deluded, and she'd done it to herself. She wished – oh God, how she wished – that she could have blamed someone for her misery. She wanted to blame Lumina. She wanted to hate her. How could she? She had stolen Celia's soul mate. Couldn't she see that? Didn't she understand that Jack and Celia were supposed to be together? How could she have been so deceptive, so manipulative? Surely she must have done something to entice poor Jack towards her. He must be caught in some web of hers or he'd be with Celia where he rightly belonged.

Lumina. She looked so innocent. How could she?

Celia's mind was a daze, she was hardly sure of anything anymore, yet she was sure that Lumina hadn't behaved with any indecency. She was as sure of that as she was sure of the fact that she would wake up tomorrow, pained and miserable and dying with every instant for Jack to see what she saw for them. Lumina was just as innocent as she'd always been. Celia remembered her as she had been before Jack arrived – young, pure, glowing. Lumina had neither the wicked heart, nor the courage, that Celia imagined. No. Jack had pursued her. Jack had loved her first, and eventually he had won her over.

Celia wondered how this could have happened. How could she not have known? During the days and nights she spent dreamily imagining their future together, he had been with Lumina. Bringing her flowers. Spending time with her family. Gaining her trust. Proving to her day by day and word by word that he loved her.

It was too much to bear.

Muffy, the town's barmaid and another eligible bachelorette, had openly expressed her disappointment with the match, only to be rebuked by the entire village. Apparently Jack had wandered his way into her fantasies as well, as Celia now knew them to be just that – fantasies. For all his endeavors in winning over young Lumina, Jack had never purposefully put forth any effort in winning the hearts of Muffy or Celia, yet he'd won them both with a mere look. The only single woman he seemed to have left unaffected was Nami. But Nami was a transient. Inconsequential. A mere word in the wind, to be swept away from the valley as unexpectedly as she'd arrived. Jack, however, was as surely a part of their world as the river and the grass. Theirs were lives that couldn't be shared.

Celia half expected the pain to end as suddenly as it started. She hoped with her heart that she would wake up in the morning, startled, afraid, and trembling, but with the sudden and happy realization that it had all been a bad dream. Her Jack, _her _Jack, would come for her soon. He had too. Before he arrived she had everything she'd ever wanted. Now that she'd met him, she realized that without him she had nothing at all.

She knew as she watched their wedding that it was all too real. Jack and Lumina both looked so happy. She'd never truly seen him smile like that before. It wasn't a smile she'd seen from him at all, even in her mind. It was one of genuine peace. She realized she'd never seen it because it had never been meant for her. She could stop pretending now. With a cry she wove her way through the reception crowd to kiss Lumina. She held onto the young girl with tears streaming down her face, masking her sudden emptiness for joy. She wanted happiness for them both. She loved Jack even now. She would always love him. And she wanted him to be happy.

She hoped in some small way, that through Lumina her kiss would reach him.

Years passed as they always had in the valley. Cyclical, repetitive, and comforting. Celia's feelings for Jack stayed as strong as ever, but were muted through the monotony of daily living. In evil moments, Celia hoped for something tragic – something that would send Jack straight into her arms – an affair or betrayal by Lumina. Death even. She could make him whole again, and if she couldn't she would take whatever pieces of him were left. But she knew those thoughts weren't from her. They came from a desperate place that felt otherworldly, something that greedily clung to the fantasy and denied her from any truly happy thought.

Yet at times this desperation was all Celia felt she had left. But when she caught sight of Lumina, glowing with pride at her husband and their young son, she was ashamed of herself. Ashamed of her delusions that set her up for a lifetime of imprisonment. Ashamed as herself for holding onto those delusions in the hope that Jack may one day become hers as he should have been from the start.

Celia would smile and wave. Trying to mute the cry in her brain. Training her face to stay poised and collected as she watched Lumina walk away with their son. And in that instant she would see the life Jack hadn't given her. A life of happiness and of love.

Her desperation was a rock. Dragging her to the depths of the ocean where no one would hear her sobbing. At least there – there, she wouldn't have to see him anymore.


End file.
